2021 Walk to Remember — Opening Speech

Good morning, everyone.

My name is Lisa Mancuso, I am the grandmother of Mackenzie Nalen. Next to me is my daughter Jessica, my son-in-law David, and Mackenzie’s big brother, Landon. Mackenzie was born on February 4, 2017. She was a beautiful baby, a happy, smiling, precious little bundle of joy.

At around 1 month old, Mackenzie developed a slight cold. The pediatrician assured my daughter that it was just a little cold and that her lungs sounded clear. At each checkup, the pediatrician again assured my daughter and son-in-law that the cold just had to run its course, and that Mackenzie’s lungs sounded clear. Mackenzie never developed a fever, only slight congestion.

On the morning of May 6th, my son came by for a visit. I was still in my pajamas sipping my morning coffee when my phone rang. I saw it was Jessica calling, and when I picked up the phone, all I could hear was my daughter hysterically screaming that Mackenzie stopped breathing and that the paramedics had her. At that moment I felt the blood drain from my body. My son and I raced out the door to the hospital, but sadly, Mackenzie passed away before we got there. She had died of streptococcal bronchopneumonia. Mackenzie was 3 months, two days old.

The day Mackenzie died, my life changed forever. I went into a complete state of shock. Instead of helping Jessica with feeding and changing Mackenzie and babysitting, I was helping her plan a funeral. As parents, we always want to protect our children, help them and when something goes wrong, help fix it. But this was something I couldn’t fix. As a grandmother, I felt guilt, guilt that I’m living a full life and Mackenzie didn’t. Guilt that I had a birthday coming up and Mackenzie would never have one.

As the days turned into weeks and then months, my emotions were all over the place. And for any grandparent that has gone through this, you grieve for the loss of the baby and you grieve for your child who suffered such an unimaginable loss.

People don’t know what to say and that’s okay. Grief is unique and each individual grieves in their own way. It’s also okay to ask for help, which is what I did. I went to counseling and read all I could about grief and loss. Then one day, I stumbled across the MA Center for Unexpected Infant and Child Death website. It was here at the 2019 Walk that I met Alex. I wanted to get involved with the center, to volunteer my time and support families who have suffered the tragic loss of a child. Alex, Shari, and Maxine are the most compassionate people I have ever come in contact with. I am an advisory board member at the center and it is here where I feel I can offer support. I offer support not only to the families but also to the professionals who come into contact with these families at the time of a child’s death so that they are better equipped to show empathy and compassion towards them.

For any family who has recently gone through this, the days won’t always seem dark. There are some brighter days ahead. My entire family has been there, supporting us from day one. My daughter is working her way through nursing school and Mackenzie’s big brother Landon loves to share the dreams he has about Mackenzie, which always puts a smile on my face. Each year on Mackenzie’s birthday, we have a cake for her and sing happy birthday.

Your children will always be remembered. Though their lives were cut short, they lives did matter.

So today, my family walks in memory of our beautiful Mackenzie and we all walk to remember the precious children who left this earth way too soon.

Thank you!

-Lisa Mancuso, Mackenzie’s grandmother